


Heat Waves (We Belong)

by Epic_F_Awesomesauce



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alcohol, Anxiety, Emotional Growth, Emotional Healing, F/F, Getting Your Life Together, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Multiple Pov, PTSD, Personal Growth, Recreational Drug Use, Slow Burn, Trauma, adora and bow and glimmer and mermista and sea hawk are all roommates lol, adora is strugging lol, bipolar!catra, everyone is a little fucked up, everyone is mentally ill, ill add tags as i go, let me know if i need to tag anything, listen when i say slowburn i mean slow, longfic, this is going to be like so long, zillenials
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:08:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25679386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Epic_F_Awesomesauce/pseuds/Epic_F_Awesomesauce
Summary: Adora is doing fine. She's living in Houston with her friends, and she loves it! She works at Starbucks, and she loves her coworkers and job! She's left her past in the past and it has not carried into the present, and she's totally not struggling under the crushing weight of her own failure!Leave it to Catra to jump back into her life and tear her flimsy facade to pieces. Catra is everything Adora is not: Well-adjusted, put-together, and she even has health insurance, and no matter how much Adora tries to leave her past behind, the middle of a story can never escape its beginning.This is a story about healing after the pains of the past, and growing together.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 66





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Alright guys, so here we are. This fic is going to be personal. It's going to be emotional. It's going to be funny, absurd, with misunderstandings and stunted emotions and lots of confusion and communication, and hopefully it will be insightful. This has been a little egg sitting in my heart ever since I watched She-Ra (and btw I started it for the first time in the end of May) and I've just been in love with this concept. Basically I was like, "Well we've seen Catra's ptsd, but what about Adora's?" Can't have post trauma if you're under constant trauma lol.  
> A few warnings: There will be drug and alcohol use (not necessarily abuse though), referenced child abuse (of a sexual nature, but nothing explicit), a whole host of characters and silly situations, and two people drawn together like magnets. And this is going to be TENSE. And LONG. I've already got 20k written, and I'm on chapter 5 out of ~30 so... let that sink in...  
> If you have any questions about the story, characters, thought process, or drugs (especially drugs, and especially if you're planning on using them) please let me know! This is also barely edited, and only by myself, so if you are/know a good beta, PLEASE say so. Also, please leave kudos so that I can bask in the sweet validation of people appreciating me.

_Sometimes all I think about is you_

_Late nights in the middle of June_

_Heat waves keep faking me out_

_-Glass Animals, "Heat Waves"_

_  
  
_

_Monday June 15th, 10:05am_

_  
  
_

"Son of a motherless goat!"

She drove her fist into the side of her truck before she could really think about it. The accompanying pain brought on from the action did nothing to comfort her, and certainly didn't help her situation. No matter what she hit, nothing would change the fact that her truck had broken down on the side of 610, leaving her looking like every other asshole with a broken down truck on the side of 610.

Shoving her aching fist into the pocket of her teeny high-waisteds, she moved to the front of her vehicle and popped open the hood. Though she had only been outside of her car for a couple minutes now, sweat was already gathering in her armpits and under her bra. She propped the hood up and then reached instinctively for the hair tie she almost always kept on her wrist, only to find that it wasn't there because she had snapped it earlier that morning.

"Fuck a truck," she said. Then, as an afterthought, patted hers. "Not you though, baby."

It didn't hurt sucking up to her truck at this point. Maybe if she was nice enough it would start up again.

Now that her hood was up she began poking around underneath. She knew a bit about trucks—growing up in a rural area of Texas certainly got that seen to—but she wasn't exactly a mechanic, or even like, someone who knew at all what she was doing.

She reached up to swipe a strand of hair out of her face and was surprised at the amount of wet that came away. God, the heat. Houston summers were heavy, plain and simple. The air hung in the sky as if it had actual weight to it and each particle was being held up by strings stretching into the heavens. It clung to her skin like the steam from a too-hot shower that lingered in the bathroom, and even its breezes seemed lazy, less of a breeze and more a gentle flow, and they barely caught the sweat beading on her brow and upper lip.

She focused her attention back to her truck, checking the oil levels, which were low but not terrible, and looking at what she believed was coolant… or was it antifreeze… or were they the same? She squinted, but the sun glinting off the metal was beginning to hurt her eyes.

She sighed, replacing the cap to whatever it was, then unpropping the hood and letting it fall closed. 

"Fuck," she said again, massaging the heels of her hands into her eyes. She was so tired. It was ten, but already at least ninety degrees, and she had a fuckton of shit to do today—all of which necessitated her truck!

She peeked around the edge of her truck to make sure no one would hit her, then made her way up and into the cab. Her truck was pretty high off the ground, which was fine for her, being 5'11. She still remembered the way Glimmer had to scrabble to get inside and smiled at the thought that she would be seeing her again soon.

That is, as long as she got this whole mess sorted out.

She grabbed her phone from it's little stand on her dash and scrolled through her Snapchat, looking for someone she thought would be able to come pick her up. She didn't have roadside assistance with her shit insurance for her shit vehicle (don't tell it she said that though), so she was going to need someone to come help her out of this mess.

She wished Bow were here. He wasn't a mechanic, but he _was_ an engineer, which had to count for something, and he probably knew a lot more than she did. But Bow wasn't here; he was still completing his gap year overseas, teaching children English in Guatemala. Glimmer wasn't here, not yet, and she wouldn't be able to make it to the small home Adora shared with Mermista and Sea Hawk if her truck didn't work.

**jolly green giant**

_hey r u going to be here anytime soon?_

Adora stared at her phone for a moment, then punched her steering wheel. Her horn let out a coughing beep, since it was mostly broken and only worked about half the time, and her already bruised fist began to throb.

"Fuck a duck," she said, shaking her hand out as if it would help. It did not, and only served to make it feel worse.

With one hand she began typing up a message. 

**You ADORA me**

_Sorry, my car broke down._

_Is there a way you can drop off?_

_I'll buy more if that helps._

**jolly green giant**

_yeah i can drop off._

_where r u my roommate can probably help_

Adora stared at her phone. She didn't even realize her nail was in her mouth until she bit down on it. Was she talking about coming _here?_ _Now?_ _To_ Adora?

**You ADORA me**

_Uh, no that's okay. I don't want to uh,_

_pass the product, on the freeway._

_I'll call a tow truck._

She waited tensely for a reply, biting the dry skin on her lip. She knew she needed to search tow trucks in the area, but she was more anxious about this girl she was trying to buy weed from, and her roommate who she knew nothing about, coming to help her with her broken down truck.

**jolly green giant**

_lol_

_typing..._

**jolly green giant**

_i meant that my roommate can probably_

_come by and fix your truck. she's a mechanic_

Instantly a wave of relief fell over Adora. Thank _fuck_ she had misunderstood that. Adora had way too much fucking social anxiety for someone to just show up out of nowhere and Superman her, especially when that someone was a— _her_ —new plug.

There was another pause between the texts, and then:

**jolly green giant**

_heres her number_

_xxx-xxx-xxxx_

**You ADORA me**

_Thank you! I'll call her._

**jolly green giant**

_shes still going to charge u_

**You ADORA me**

_I assumed so!_

Adora clicked the number and pressed call before she had time to psych herself out. She wasn't sure who this girl's roommate even was, but if she could help it was good enough for her. Glimmer's flight landed at two in the afternoon, which gave Adora only four hours to get everything ready. Even if it weren't so hot, Adora would still be sweating.

The phone only rang twice before being picked up. "Hello! Entrapta's mech services! How can I help you?"

The woman on the other end was loud and seemed excited, which relieved Adora a bit. If Entrapta was this excited to fix her car then maybe it meant she'd do a good job, and Adora would still be able to pick Glimmer up without selling her soul to Sea Hawk so she could borrow his hunk-a-junk 1993 Saturn that could barely hit 40mph.

"Hi, uh, my name is Adora. I got your number from—" fuck she didn't know her name "—your roommate."

"Oh, Scorpia?"

Adora had no idea. "Yes!"

"Cool! So what do you need? Computer? Phone? Microwave? Ooooh, please tell me you have a convertible whose automatic top is broken!"

"Uh, none of that. My truck broke down."

"That's great!" said the woman. She then cackled very loudly. "Emily, did you hear that?"

"So when can—"

"Send me your location! I'll be there in a jif! HORDAKS!"

Adora jerked the phone away from her ear in surprise at the shout. When she put it back to her ear she found that Entrapta had already ended the call, so she decided to just text her location to the same number. She didn't get a reply, but she assumed that was because Entrapta was driving. Or, she hoped that was why.

**jolly green giant**

_did u get ahold of her_

Adora grimaced at the sweat on her phone screen from her call to Entrapta, then used the front of her shirt to wipe her face.

**You ADORA me**

_Yes! She says she's_

_going to drive right over._

**jolly green giant**

_if u want she can probably drop_

_you here while she takes ur car to the shop_

Adora frowned. 

**You ADORA** **me**

_Why would it need to go to the shop?_

**jolly green giant**

_typing…_

**jolly green giant**

_dw about it. just know that when_

_shes done itll be better than b4_

"Well that was ominous," Adora said aloud. She'd been sitting in her truck for so long now, in the truly horrifying heat, that she was more or less drenched in sweat, and when she reached to use her shirt to wipe it away she realized that it was also wet.

" _Fuck._ "

She didn't like, _regret_ moving to Houston, since she really liked the museums, the gardens, the plants, the food… some of the people not so much, but bigots are everywhere. Overall, Houston was the best place she'd ever lived, but it was also so fucking _hot_ and _humid_ , so sweat was everywhere. Half the time Adora felt like she could slip n' slide without the water.

Her phone dinged and she saw a new message from Entrapta: _WE'LL BE THERE IN TEN_

"Great."

Ten more minutes of this exhausting heat before she could continue with her exhausting, stressful, somehow-already-ruined day. At least Glimmer was coming.

"GLIMMER IS COMING!"

Fuck!

"How am I going to pick up Glimmer with no _car?_ "

She checked the time. Ten-thirty. Only three and a half hours. She couldn't tell if the sweat gathering on her forehead was from the heat or from anxiety. She grabbed her pen, which was currently all loaded up with some CBD, and took a puff. She wasn't sure if the CBD actually helped, or if it was just forcing her to take deep breaths, but it did calm her down. At least a little.

Five minutes passed, then ten, then fifteen. Adora checked her phone about every thirty seconds but it didn't seem to help. She was covered in sweat, her water bottle was empty so she was slowly getting more and more dehydrated, and she had inhaled so much CBD she actually had a wild thought that she was getting high off it. Her anxiety was somehow at an all time high, and she couldn't decide whether to text Glimmer that she might not be able to come or not. Glimmer's flights were all day today, and had started late last night. Adora wasn't sure what had led Glimmer to accept a nannying job from her mom's friend in _Alaska_ , but she had, and now she was coming for a visit, and Adora wasn't even going to be able to pick her up.

There was a knock at her window suddenly and Adora let out a shriek. Her pen, which had been in her hand, shot out of her grip and landed somewhere she couldn't see. Outside of the window were two men who looked exactly the same, and a small woman with more purple hair than body. All three of them were wearing stained overalls, and the men (who she assumed were twins) were like one of those theater mask things. One was smiling, the other frowning, and the woman looked absolutely ecstatic.

Adora rolled down her window. "Uh, hi. Entrapta?"

"Greetings!" said one of the men in a sing-song voice. 

"Hi!" said the woman. "I'm Entrapta and these are the Hordaks! We're here for your car."

Adora didn't particularly like the look in Entrapta's eyes, but she couldn't exactly say no since they'd come all this way to fix her POS truck.

"I'm James!" said the happy Hordak. The other one didn't speak.

"So if you wouldn't mind stepping out of the vehicle?" Entrapta said. Or maybe she was asking. Adora wasn't sure but either way she grabbed her purse out of the passenger seat and exited the vehicle.

"What are you going to do to it?" Adora asked, unable to keep the nerves out of her voice. Entrapta didn't answer, as she was already squeezing herself inside and turning the key to try and start it up. The truck gave a dry cough.

"Hordak!" she shouted. "Turn the key and I'll go out and check under the hood."

The unhappy Hordak moved into the vehicle as Entrapta moved out. James turned to Adora. "Entrapta has asked me to accompany you to her shared house so that you can meet her roommate! How exciting! If you wouldn't mind taking a seat inside my car?"

He pointed at one of the douchey dodge cars she always saw speeding on the freeway, and Adora felt even more nervous than before. She wasn't sure why she had agreed to this situation, and now that it was actually happening she was concerned about the fact that she was going to a drug dealer's house without having met her and with no car of her own.

Oh well. She straightened her shoulders and made her way to the car. If it came down to it, she could still throw a pretty mean punch.

_  
  
_

***

  
  


_Monday June 15th, 10:45_

**jolly green giant**

_dw about it. just know that when_

_shes done itll be better than b4_

**read 10:21**

Catra stared at her phone. Well, mainly she was staring at her Snapchat dms, wondering exactly how she had gotten herself into this situation.

Well, not how exactly, as she knew how it had happened. She had received a message from a profile she recognized instantly, claiming that someone had recommended her as a plug. Catra hadn't been able to reply for over a week, and only after she had talked to her therapist about it in detail and they had come up with a game plan.

So, she knew _how_ she had gotten into this situation, but she wasn't exactly sure why she had agreed to it, and the fact that Adora's car had broken down was really just the finishing touch to this banana split of shit. Banana shit. With a cherry on top.

She was sweating. She was sweating despite the AC, her tiny linen shorts and her cropped t-shirt that said "Me and my cat talk shit about you" and had a picture of a cat that looked remarkably like Melog. She had taken off her ugly Hawaiian shirt, which she of course had left unbuttoned, because of the sweat and the nerves. And the pacing. She couldn't stop pacing.

When she had gotten dressed this morning she had thought the shirt would be funny, but now that it was getting closer and closer to the time when Adora would actually be showing up, and entering her house, and probably staying awhile as her car was fixed, Catra was worried that it was a bit too on the nose, and maybe revealed too much. In fact, she was in the process of removing it when there came a knock on the door.

"It is I!" she heard through the door. _Fuck_ did she hate the Hordaks. She couldn't stand James's constantly upbeat attitude, and Jeremy hated her, or else he would have been her favorite. Every single day she thanked every entity she could think of that they were only twins, not triplets.

"I'm coming!" she shouted, shrugging her shirt back on. Fuck a duck, this was such a bad fucking idea. She shoved her phone in her pocket and made her way to the door. The time it took for her to twist the lock and open the door felt like an eternity, right up until her eyes met familiar blue and time seemed to stop moving entirely.

Adora looked different than the last time she'd seen her. For one, her hair was shorter and cut into one of those long bobs that the internet said was the bisexual haircut, and she'd clearly dyed it at some point because the tips were just the slightest bit blue-green. She'd finally grown out her bangs so she wasn't doing the hair poof anymore, which Catra was slightly sad about despite how much she had made fun of her for it, back in high school. Her face had gained definition, her jaw and cheekbones sharp and strong, and she had apparently given up the battle with contacts and was wearing those stylish grandpa glasses. And she had pierced her ears and was wearing little dangly earrings that matched her cute red crop top. She looked perfect, as always, even with her sweat-dark hair stuck to her cheek.

She opened and closed her mouth a couple times, eyes rocking up and down Catra as if she'd never seen her before. Catra knew she looked different too. For one, she'd finally tamed her hair and cut it so that it fell around her jawbone and flew about in silky curls. For another, she had finally gained enough confidence to dress like a _girl_ , which she knew Adora would notice. Catra had ruthlessly made fun of Adora for how girly she acted, growing up. It had only been from jealousy, and a lack of confidence. Now, she was confident. Confident enough to wear crop tops, at least, and this time it was _real_. 

She knew that wasn't what Adora was thinking about, though, because Catra was thinking about it too. The last time they'd seen each other. The words that had been exchanged. The _blows_ that had been exchanged, the blood that dripped from Adora's mouth and stained her white soccer jersey, the bruises on Catra's knuckles from where they'd found their mark.

"Hey Adora."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and Adora have a little heart-to-heart after not having spoken for five years. They've both changed and matured, but in a way they're both still the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick reminder: This is largely unedited, and will remain as such unless I have any volunteers from the audience lol. And when it comes to the timestamps in the story, I wanted a timestamp after every "***" but I didn't write them in in this chapter because I hadn't thought of the idea yet, and I'm too nervous to go for a read through in case that jinxes my writing mojo lol. Also, the characters might be slightly OOC, but that's on purpose so there you have it. she's a long one, enjoy!

Chapter 2

_I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart._

_I am. I am. I am._

_-Sylvia Plath_

  
  
  


_Monday June 15th, 11:16am_

  
  


Adora had no idea what to say. So she said nothing.

"Catra!" James shouted, reaching forward and wrapping Catra in a hug. She let him, which was almost as surprising to Adora as, well, everything else.

"James," Catra said. She didn't hug him back, but she didn't push him away either, and she didn't take her eyes off of Adora.

James pulled away. "Catra, this is—Actually, I don't think I asked your name!"

"It's Adora," Catra answered. "We've met."

" _Met_ ," Adora said, with a certain emphasis that even she didn't understand. 

Catra looked at her, raising her eyebrow in that familiar way of hers. It was different now. Her eyebrows were thicker and more untamed than they had been in highschool, and she wasn't wearing much makeup. She also didn't look exhausted the way she had senior year, like instead of drinking red bulls and staying up all night playing Minecraft she was getting a healthy amount of sleep.

Five years had clearly changed Catra in ways Adora couldn't even begin to understand. Her hair wasn't as wild and frizzy, there were no cuts or bruises on her anywhere that Adora could see, and even her lips were no longer chapped. Catra shifted from one foot to the other, sticking her hands in the pockets of her teeny shorts. She was wearing a top cropped high enough that Adora could see her abs shift as she moved. Everything about her was the same, and yet so different. Adora was too shocked to even be angry. Yet. She could feel it churning in her stomach.

James didn't seem to feel any of the tension that Adora was, because he continued on. "Catra, Entrapta said Adora could wait here while she and my brother worked on her truck!"

"Yeah, I know," Catra said. She looked at James using only her eyes in that same, sly way she'd done her whole life. Adora felt like her stomach was going to fall out through her anus.

"Is there anything that I can—" James began, but Catra cut him off with a strangely elegant wave of her hand.

"Get outta here," she said. Her tone didn't sound playful, but she smiled as if to soften the blow, and once again Adora was struck by how familiar her smile was, but how different. The same lips pulling back, the same dimple in her left cheek, but she didn't show her unusually sharp canines, and she didn't have the mean tilt to her jaw.

James saluted to the both of them. "I'll need to be going! Entrapta left Emily alone in the shop so I'll need to go check on her. Let me know if you need anything!"

Instead of waving goodbye, he winked. Adora watched him as he walked down the stairs of Catra's surprisingly large, surprisingly well-maintained house and to the car parked on the street. Only once he had pulled away did she turn back to Catra.

  
  


***

  
  


Catra moved out of the doorway and gestured Adora inside. She wasn't sure what she was feeling, but there was something strange bubbling up in her chest. If she was going to try to name it, she might call it happiness, or maybe fondness. Looking at Adora made her feel sixteen and wild again, and though she didn't miss being an un-medicated mess, there was something enticing about the memory of her and Adora joyriding in Rogelio's convertible, top down and seatbelts off, listening to Fall Out Boy as if it was still cool.

"C'mon in," she said, and Adora did. She looked around warily as she crossed the threshold, as if she was expecting to see something awful. Catra examined Adora as she examined the room, watching the way Adora's expression went from wary to surprised to confused. Catra was almost impressed by how well she could still read Adora, as if they hadn't spent five years apart; as if she hadn't spent three of those years trying to erase Adora from her memory.

"You have a nice place," Adora said.

"Thanks," Catra said. She crossed the living room and grabbed the TV remote off the coffee table. The TV flicked to life, and Catra directed it to Netflix. "I figured I could smoke you out while we wait."

Adora said nothing. Catra turned to look at her only to find her staring dumbly, watching as she arranged the throw pillows and crocheted blanket on the couch. Catra waited for Adora to say something. When she didn't, Catra spoke again.

"You can sit down if you want."

"Uh, yeah," Adora said. Catra hadn't seen Adora this awkward since she'd been asked to prom her sophomore year by some idiot football player with shoulders the size of a Volkswagen bug. "Okay."

"I'm gonna go get some rolling papers. Oh, and the bud you ordered."

"Right," Adora said. Her eyes flickered to the TV, then back to Catra. "Uh, how much do I owe you?"

"Thirty. And also I gave you four grams instead of three-point-five because I figured, well. Friend and family discount."

"Thanks."

Catra could feel Adora's eyes on her as she walked out of the living room and down the center hallway that led to the bedrooms. She had some joints pre rolled in there, but she figured she'd bring her shit out and do it on the coffee table for something to do with her hands. And then they were going to watch something stupid on Netflix while they got high, and maybe talk a bit about their feelings or something, and if all went well maybe she and Adora could be—well, she doubted they'd be friends again, but maybe they could be different than before. Catra was not the same person she'd been in highschool. She was not the same person who got into fights with kids at the skatepark when they insulted her kickflip, or the kid who sat behind the mall smoking cigarettes with delinquents and running away when the cops were inevitably called. She was not the same person who'd been in the closet, in denial, and in pain. She wasn't the same person who'd had her heart broken when Adora chose to leave (while Catra stayed behind to stew in her misery), and she was not the same person who never replied to texts (no matter how many Adora sent).

When she got back to the living room she found Adora sitting awkwardly on the couch as if she wasn't sure if she was allowed. She was perched right on the edge of the seat cushion and the fingers of her right hand were tapping a rhythm onto the skin of her knee. Catra was struck by how familiar it was to see her tap-tap-tapping away. Adora was always moving. Sometimes she was running, sometimes dancing, sometimes fidgeting, but she was never still. Even in sleep she kicked and pushed, as if fighting someone off. As if she expected Weaver—

Catra swallowed that thought, and swallowed it again. She wasn't here to think about that. She was here—well, because she lived here, but mostly because Adora was here and she was trying to mend the remnants of a half-decade's worth of animosity between two people who had once been the closest of childhood friends.

"Do you want anything to drink?" Catra asked. Adora jumped, and the look of fear on her face when she turned to Catra nearly made her heart stop.

"I didn't hear you," Adora said, trying to play it off as casual even as her voice shook.

"Sorry, I tried to make some noise when I was walking." Catra often had this problem. She was too light on her feet, too flexible from years of gymnastics and too graceful from years of ballet. Adora had always been the aggressive one, the one who took on her problems head on and fists raised. Catra was far subtler. It was something she'd had to learn.

"I'd love some water," Adora said.

"I have orange juice too," Catra said as she made her way to the kitchen. The front of the house was an open floor plan, with the kitchen to the left when you walked in, the living room to the right, and a hallway leading straight back to the bedrooms, bathroom, and upper level.

"But you don't like orange juice," Adora said. She had gotten up and followed Catra to the kitchen and was now tugging on the bottoms of her shorts to pull them down.

Catra shrugged. "I know you like it. So does my roommate."

Adora bit her lip, and Catra looked away, reaching into the fridge to grab the juice as she did so, partially so she didn't have to watch. Adora had many nervous habits, like tapping and wiggling, but it was her oral fixation that tended to get Catra in trouble.

"You have a roommate?" Adora asked. Then, "Duh, Entrapta."

Catra shot her a grin and watched as the expression on her face went from " _duh_ " to the little knowing smirk that Catra saw some nights in her dreams.

"Wait, so does she _live_ here? Who are those guys?"

Catra scoffed, poured Adora a glass, and handed it to her. "Okay, so they're twins."

"I figured that," Adora said with a little laugh. Everything about her now seemed soft around the edges from some mixture of relief and— _comfort_ . That's what Catra was feeling; comfort, brought on just from Adora's presence, as if a little piece of herself she'd forgotten about years ago had come back. Part of her would always be _Adora's_ part; the part of her personality that Adora had shaped through years of constant attention. The way she and Adora walked and talked in a kitchen together as they grabbed various snacks was less second nature and more first memories; of sneaking into the kitchen the night after a party for sweets, or making popcorn in the microwave as they set up to watch the latest blockbuster subscription movie, or grabbing chips and dip from the fridge the first time they ever got high and they told their parents they were tired because they couldn't hide the fact they were blasted.

"Entrapta knows the mean one, Jeremy, through some weird robotics coding club or something, and James is his twin so that's how they met. And then I'm not exactly sure why but they all decided to make this business together, that's like half roadside assistance, half electronics repair. I think? I'm not sure, but Entrapta's always been really good with anything mechanical or technical, so they do great work. And sometimes she gives extra features, like she put a new radio in one guy's, and I guess she put automatic window lowering mechanisms into her own cars."

"Oh," Adora said, looking a bit overwhelmed. This was most people's reaction to hearing about Entrapta though, as she seemed to never sleep and tinkered with anything even vaguely mechanical that she could get her hands on.

Catra put the orange juice back in the fridge and made her way back to the living room. "Did you want to watch something on Netflix?"

"Sure," Adora said. She sat down on the couch next to Catra and took a swig of juice. Catra watched her look around the room, enjoying the familiarity of her breathing and the way one foot twisted itself into the throw rug beneath them. "You have a nice place."

Catra looked around. Adora was right objectively. The room was done in creams and pinks and oranges, although Catra's ex had insisted they were _sunset colors_. She had also insisted on using Catra's card to decorate, hence why the decorations were still here.

"I don't spend a lot of time out here, to be honest," Catra said. She grabbed her tray of weed miscellanea and a dollar bill. She preferred to roll joints with a hundred, but only because she was extra, and it seemed a bit like overkill to whip out a hundo after seeing Adora for the first time in five years.

"Oh, you're going to roll?" Adora asked, leaning forward and setting her drink on the coffee table. 

"Yeah, is that okay? I have a bong too." (And a bubbler, vaporizer, oil rig, dab pen… the list went on.)

"Yeah, I've just never seen anyone actually do it before."

Catra stilled, then turned to look at her. "Oh, Adora. Really?"

Adora blushed prettily, pink coloring high on her cheeks. "Really what?"

"You've never rolled your own joint before?"

Adora's blush darkened and thickened and Catra enjoyed the familiar way embarrassment took its toll on Adora. It had always been fun to tease Adora like this, to watch her darken shade by shade like a sunburn. Catra remembered the time she'd made Adora turn almost tomato red by telling Jared Keisner about her crush on him their sophomore year.

Before Adora could open her mouth to respond, Catra continued. "Would you like me to show you?"

Adora rolled her eyes. "Is this just going to be another way for you to show me how much better than me you are?"

"I'm not better than you," Catra said with a soft smile. "I never was. I just worked in secret so you didn't know how much effort it took to keep up with you."

Adora looked shocked, but Catra didn't give her any time to adjust. She'd known it would be hard, showing Adora how much different she was and how hard she had worked to better herself. It was not until Adora's absence that she'd realized how much of her drive belonged to her; how much _perfect_ Adora had pushed her to be better, just by being around.

Catra was the middle child of five. She had two sisters and two brothers, and they generally got all the attention she wanted. If Catra had done well on an exam, her sister had gotten engaged the same day, so no one cared to hear about it. If Catra had a dance recital, her brother had a football game. If Catra acted out and got caught smoking on school property, her parents were too busy helping her brother move into a dorm, or her sister to the doctor, or someone else to something else over and over again, so the responsibility had fallen to Weaver, and perfect, wonderful Adora.

Jealousy had colored so much of their friendship that by the time they were in highschool it had become a sickly thing, a coughing, sticky cloud that hung over them both. Catra pretended; she was good at that, pretending. She pretended she wasn't angry, and jealous, and hurting for attention. She pretended being friends with Adora was enough, and she pretended so well she didn't realize it was pretend until Adora left, taking the ground beneath Catra along with her.

Her therapist had told her when it came to emotions, honesty was the best policy. Maybe it was strange to announce her feelings to the room at large, but it was less strange than pretending they didn't exist and waiting until they got too overwhelming to keep hidden away.

Catra grabbed rolling papers, bud, and grinder, then got down to business. She let her words hang in the air, gave Adora time to let them sink in, gave her time to think about them. Catra was not an actor. Not anymore. She would not act like it didn't take work, because it did; _everything_ took work, whether it was being a delinquent or pretending she was great and everything was fine. Time away from Adora had helped her to realize what took the most work was pointedly ignoring her own limitations and exhausting every part of herself in an effort to be the best and prove to everyone they were wrong for ignoring her.

Adora had never ignored her. Catra doubted she would start now.

"What are you doing with the dollar?" Adora asked finally.

"I put the weed in here like this," Catra explained, turning toward Adora to demonstrate. "And then I sort of push it back and forth to shape it into a little tube, like so."

She opened the dollar to let Adora see how the soft crumble of bud had been shaped into a smooth cylindrical line.

"Oh, and so then you kind of put the paper in too?"

"Yeah, and then I just roll it up."

"Cool," said Adora. Her eyes were bright and seemed bluer than Catra remembered. "Will you show me?"

Catra grinned. "I'll show you anything you want."

  
  


***

  
  


Adora watched Catra roll the joint. She watched Catra as she worked carefully to make it tight and smooth, fingers gentle and nimble as she brought it to her mouth and licked the paper to close it. In high school Catra had gotten her nails done into sharp black points. The memory was a sudden shock to her system as her brain flashed back to Catra tapping dark nails on the kitchen counter, or pressing against Adora's scalp as she soothed her hair. 

Adora didn't like to think about high school. She didn't like to think about a time before Glimmer and Bow and the Best Friends Squad and the way she had been let into the lives of two people who were kind and supportive to the point of occasional aggression. Her life before them, at least in her memories, was dark and sickly brown, tinged with a bad past and hopeless future, like tobacco stains on teeth.

Now, Catra's nails were soft, short and unpainted. Her cuticles were clean and there was no dirt under her nails. Nothing about Catra was dirty, now. Her living room was beautiful and polished, she had a large TV against one wall and a cozy couch, and when she had opened her fridge Adora caught a glimpse of _vegetables_. The Catra she remembered was messy and chaotic and ruined. This Catra was one of the most put-together people Adora had ever seen.

"We usually smoke outside," Catra said. "If that's alright with you?"

Adora nodded, though she grimaced as she remembered the heat from earlier.

Catra stood up and Adora followed suit, then followed again as Catra walked down the hallway. Adora caught a glimpse through open doors of a quaint, clean bathroom; of a room colored in a chaos of purple and various mechanics; of a bedspread made of geometric patterns of white, red and gray; of a bedroom with eggshell walls and string lights with Polaroids clipped to them, of Catra and various others.

Adora looked through open doors in an effort to not look at the way Catra's shorts were small enough and tight enough to show off her shapely ass and muscular thighs, or how her crop top did just enough to cover a very obvious back tattoo that Adora could not make out its shape.

Catra opened the back door with a creak. There was a little carpet there that said _wipe your paws_ , and there was a pink sticky-note on the door that said, in messy chicken scratch, _We mean you, Melog the Bastard Man._ Underneath _that_ was a printed out screencap of Charlie Kelly from _It's Always Sunny_ saying, "Dennis is a bastard man."

Adora laughed, and Catra looked back at her. "What?"

Adora pointed, and Catra rolled her eyes. "I know. My roommates think they're funny. Oh, speak of the Bastard Man."

A black cat had strolled up to the small brick patio outside the back door. He sat down very regally, curling his tail around his paws and looking up at Catra with surprisingly blue eyes. He surveyed Catra for a moment, scratched at his periwinkle collar, then gave a small _mew._ Catra echoed him, then stuck the joint behind her ear and scooped him up into her arms. He gave an aborted little squeak but did not refuse Catra's administrations, despite looking uncomfortable.

"What did you see out here today, Melog? Grackles? Lizards? That squirrel that always yells at us from the neighbor's tree?"

Melog mewled a reply, curling his tail around Catra's wrist.

"Would you like to go inside?" Catra asked very politely. Adora, who had been in the process of closing the door, paused and watched as Catra waited patiently for a reply.

Growing up, Catra had never been patient. She ran fast, talked faster, and had the attention span of a two year old. She did her homework in class or on the bus so she had more time for dance and gymnastics. She and Adora were both on the high school soccer team, and where Adora was defense, Catra was a sweep. When the ball got too close to the goal, defense passed to Catra so that she could run the ball to the opposite side. Her job was to run back and forth over and over again, sliding a ball smoothly in and out between players as she did. She was always moving, and always fast, and always wanted everything immediately.

Melog curled around in Catra's arms, then jumped down. He walked very sedately toward the door, sniffed the stoop, then walked inside, tail held high in the air. Adora closed the door softly behind him.

"You have a very beautiful cat," Adora said.

"He's not my cat," Catra answered absent-mindedly as she grabbed the joint from behind her ear. "He came with the house."

"Oh," said Adora, who was really more of a dog person. Dogs did not come along with houses, generally speaking, but she knew cats were a bit different.

"Oh fuck, I forgot a lighter," Catra said. "Gimme a sec."

Adora opened the door for her and Catra went back inside. Adora could hear her footsteps, despite how lightly she walked, and she could hear Melog's little voice as he spoke to Catra. He clearly had a lot on his mind and wasn't afraid to show it.

Adora looked out at the yard. It was nice, filled with various over- and undergrowth, citrus trees and shrubs. There was a gazebo covered in ivy with a little table underneath, a garden bed filled with lots of colorful flowers, and a painted purple standing lawnmower that—wait no, it wasn't a riding lawnmower, it was one of those standing wheel things he used in Paul Blart Mall Cop, attached to a regular walking mower. Adora crossed the lawn to take a look at it. She guessed it was one of Entrapta's inventions and couldn't help but hope desperately that her truck was in safe hands.

Adora took out her phone and checked the time. It was already eleven-forty-five. She checked the weather: ninety-five.

"Fuck, it's hot," Catra said as she stepped outside. The door jingled as she closed it. "Anyway, I'll get her started for you, yeah?"

"Okay," Adora said. "Um, how long do you think Entrapta will take with my truck?"

Catra shrugged. With the joint in her mouth, lighter in her hand, and wild curls haloed around her face, Adora thought she looked like a little weed fairy. She was small, and had always been small, but she had never seemed that way, even when they were kids. Adora was near six foot, and Catra was much less than, but out of the two of them Catra had always been brash, bold, and confident. With good reason; Adora had never seen anyone else throw a punch like Catra could. She'd once knocked a footballer out cold after a freshman accused him of touching her inappropriately under the bleachers. Catra was suspended, but Flutterina was thankful so that was all that mattered.

Catra puffed on the joint, clamping it between her teeth as she answered. "Entrapta loves cars. She loves old cars especially, because people generally let her make improvements to them. She's good at what she does. She's kind of like a mad scientist in a movie. I'm sure any day now she'll be harvesting lightning to make a Frankenstein transformer."

Adora snorted. "What, like Shia Lebeouf? Bumblebee and whatnot?"

Catra laughed, the same squeaky sound that Adora remembered from the first time they met, six and digging in the dirt underneath the fence that separated their two back yards. Despite using little plastic tools they had dug a hole deep enough that Catra had been able to wriggle underneath, and everything after that moment had been the two of them, hand in hand and ready to face the world.

_Nothing bad will happen as long as the two of us are together._

_Pinky promise?_

_Pinky promise._

Tiny voices solemn in the dying light of the summer sun, fingers wrapped so tightly together it almost hurt. Late that night, Adora had wrapped her own pinkies around each other. _As long as we're together, I'm safe._

Back then, Catra didn't stay the night. Back then, in the shadows of her childhood bedroom, as the night crept in through the pink curtains, Adora had been alone. Unsafe. Unprotected.

"Hey, Adora?"

She shook her head to clear it of her thoughts. She didn't need to think about back then. She didn't need to think about promises neither of them bothered to keep. There was a familiar rage curling in her stomach, but as with all of her feelings she locked it in a little box inside of her and pushed it down where she couldn't see. Anger was something Adora wasn't allowed to feel.

"Yeah?"

"It's lit, if you're ready." Catra was looking at her with familiar eyes, but an unfamiliar expression. Concern looked strange on Catra. Adora was used to seeing her eyebrows pulled together in disgust instead of the gentle crease that now lay between them.

"I forgot about your eyes," Adora said as she reached for the joint. "Isn't that strange?"

"I imagine you had more important things to worry about than the color of my eyes."

Thoughts of what she had to worry about flash through her mind, but she pushes them back down again. "I used to love looking at them though. I love the gold one."

Adora stepped forward, peering into Catra's face. She watched as she flushed, dark pink under brown skin and darker freckles. Catra's eyes were slanted, catlike and thick-lashed with eyeliner sharp enough to puncture the hull of an Empire-Class Fire Nation battleship, leaving thousands to die at sea. Her face had a very feline quality, and Adora knew from baby pictures always had. _She looked like a cat, so we named her for one._

"Uhh, Adora? Are you brain-damaged from all those high school headers?" Catra took a step back. She looked shy all of a sudden, and Adora realized their height difference was _just_ enough that she would have to bend down to kiss her. Not that she wanted to.

When Catra's words registered she grinned, comforted by the familiar concern disguised as the same dumb joke. "Nah. Just making sure I don't forget again."

Catra blinked, then slanted her eyes and looked away. She brought the joint up to her mouth, then looked down when she took a drag and there wasn't any smoke.

"Fuck," she said. Adora watched as she flicked the lighter, cupping her hand around the flame. The tip burned, orange glowing through cracked black with every inhale.

Catra passed it over. "Here. Also you better savor this, 'cuz it's probably the best weed you've ever had."

Adora grinned, sticking the tip between her lips. She took a big inhale despite knowing it'd make her cough and held the smoke in a bit longer than she should have before blowing it back out. She kept her cough in for just a moment, and when it finally came out Catra smirked at her.

When Catra reached to grab the joint again her fingers brushed Adora's in an almost purposeful way. Adora knew she should pull back but didn't, instead watching as Catra's lips pursed around the end. She remembered suddenly the silly middle school concept of an indirect kiss, then wondered how it would feel to kiss Catra, because apparently she couldn't control herself. She wondered if Catra's lips were as soft as they looked. She licked her own and tasted raspberry chapstick that wasn't hers.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Catra asked, passing the joint back over. Adora took it even though her consciousness was feeling hazy around the edges, as if the smoke was in her brain instead of her lungs.

"I just," Adora said, taking another hit, "didn't realize how much I missed you."

Catra blinked, then made an expression Adora had never seen before, somewhere between happy and smug. "I missed you too, Adora."

Adora'd never seen Catra like this before. She looked like a bread loaf cat, comfortable and pleased. She'd never been able to talk about her feelings before, even when they were little. It was always yelling and crying and lashing out, and only in the pitch dark of the night, when they were curled up against each other and half drunk with drowsiness, would Catra express her feelings, and usually she cried.

She wasn't crying now.

Adora let her tone turn teasing, smiling around the joint. "You missed me 'cuz you _like_ me."

"I never said _that,_ " Catra said. "You've gone too far, now. If the news got out that I experience joy and affection my reputation would be crushed."

She snatched the joint out of Adora's mouth and sucked on it till she burnt her fingers.

"You get the roach," she said with a smirk. A wave of curls fell into her face and she pushed them away as she danced out of reach.of Adora's hands, desperate not to take the roach Adora was pushing her way.

"Stop it!" Adora laughed. "I don't want it, you know I'm afraid of bugs."

Catra stilled for a moment, stared at her, then threw her head back in a raucous laugh. "Fuck off," she said. "God, I forgot how bad your jokes always are. 'I'm afraid of bugs,' get the hell outta here."

Adora grinned. In an effort to show off she pinched her fingers around the end of the joint and sucked smoke through them. Catra nodded, looking strangely impressed.

"Well, you're no stoner, but you're not a complete noob," she said, as if Adora had passed a test 

"Um yeah, I went to college."

"Um yeah," Catra mimicked, "I went to LA. And Seattle, and Portland, and New York. So, sorry if I have high stoner standards."

Adora smirked, leaning in close so that the smoke blew into Catra's face as she spoke. "I know I already meet all your standards."

"Gross," Catra said with a laugh. "Don't breathe it in my face, fuck!"

She pulled away and Adora could see a faint blush on her cheeks, though it could have been from the heat. She was suddenly aware again of just how hot it was, and the way her pale skin was beginning to burn slightly beneath the blistering summer sun.

"I think I'm getting sunburned," she told Catra.

"Oh fuck, we'd better go in then."

Adora laughed. She was already feeling high, and any anxiety from earlier in the day was now gone. She had a vague inkling about Glimmer coming soon but couldn't really focus on it in her mind except to think about how excited she was, and how much fun they were going to have, and how _nice_ Catra was. 

As if she knew what Adora was thinking, Catra looked up at her and grinned. Her teeth were slightly sharper than most people's, which Adora knew from experience; Catra had never been shy about weaponizing them, and the main trait Adora had shared with her neighbors were bite marks and scratches. Catra had always been the type to lash out, friend or sibling or enemy alike.

Now, she extended a hand. Adora, high as hell, handed her the roach.

"Dork," Catra said. She turned around and made her way back inside, and Adora followed.

  
  


***

  
  


This was going surprisingly well. Maybe getting Adora high had been a good idea. Maybe Catra should have been getting Adora high all through high school. Maybe if she had, she wouldn't have—

Well, it wasn't worth thinking about. What was past was past, and the only bearing it should have on the present was to help foster forgiveness and understanding between the people affected.

At least, that's what her therapist was always saying. That's the mantra she had almost forced Catra to memorize while they were going over how to approach Adora. Of course, Spinnerella hadn't said to essentially drug Adora (consensually) and not even tell her who she was texting in the first place, but. Catra didn't have an answer for that. Her hands were sweating.

Melog greeted them with a soft meow and a look directed toward Catra that seemed to communicate that he knew what her therapist would say the next time they spoke, which was a surprisingly pointed insult from someone who shit in a little box full of dirt. Catra scooped him up and carried him with her as she made her way back to the living room. The TV was still on from earlier and showed nothing but the TV Shows section of the Netflix menu. Catra stopped in the doorway and Adora bumped into her, then staggered back with a giggle.

"Oh, sorry Catra," she said. Her laugh turned into a snort as Melog shot her a look of disgust over Catra's shoulder, then jumped down and walked from the room. 

"You're fine," Catra said, turning back to look at Adora. Adora, however, was apparently not done.

"He doesn't like me," she said forlornly, watching as Melog trailed down the hallway into Catra's bedroom. 

"He doesn't know you," Catra said.

"I just feel like," Adora said very, _very_ slowly. "I just feel like.... do you like me?"

Catra couldn't stop the smile that eased across her mouth. "Is that a feeling or a question?"

Adora stared at her with big, dumb eyes. Catra had always loved Adora's eyes. They seemed much more expressive than her own, if only because when they changed color, as eyes were wont to do, people could actually _tell_ . If Catra's eye looked a little more brown than usual, everyone basically always said, _Yeah and the other one's blue._ When Adora's eyes looked more gray than usual, everyone was always like, _Oh Adora, your eyes are so pretty and we love you!_

Whatever. It wasn't a big deal anymore. High school was over, middle school a distant memory, and college was no more than a footnote. Catra had her _life_ together, even if she had lied in order to get her ex-best-friend to talk to her. It was only just now occurring to her that she could have told Adora the truth in the first place, but… nah. As Spinnerella always said, the past was in the past.

"A feeling," Adora finally said. Catra had almost forgotten she was even speaking, the break had taken so long.

"Well, your feeling is… Uh, wrong I guess? I do like you."

Adora's tolerance must be absolute shit for her to be this high already. Catra had smoked most of the joint and she was barely feeling anything, but sweet, kind Adora had had a couple hits and was now a gangly little mess. Catra watched as she tried to navigate her way to the sofa while moving as if she was underwater.

"Do you want to watch a show?" Catra asked her.

"Whatever you wanna watch," Adora said.

"Ookay."

"Glimmer's coming here soon," Adora said.

"Oh," Catra replied. She grabbed the remote and clicked on _The Floor is Lava._ High people liked that, right?

"She's flying here," Adora continued. "On a plane."

"That's awesome."

Catra wondered who Glimmer was. If she was the new best friend. If she was—was a _girlfriend._ If she was the one whose phone beeped when Adora woke up from nightmares, the one whose door was rapped in the wee hours when Adora couldn't sleep. Catra wasn't sure which Adora stood out most in her memories: the happy one, with sun-kissed hair and rosy cheeks, or the one who only made her presence known when the night was too dark to make one shape from another.

"She's comin' from Alaska," Adora said. She was sprawled out on the couch now, eyes heavy-lidded and limbs loose. "She's been gone for awhile."

"I'm happy for you," Catra said. It wasn't a lie. Not really. But it may have been a bit of a stretch. 

Adora peered up at her, looking surprised. "You're happy for me?"

Catra shrugged. A lock of hair fell into her face and she tucked it behind her ear. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Adora regarded her with… something. There was something knowing in her expression, but Catra didn't understand why. "I thought you would still be angry."

Catra was silent for a moment. She and Spinnerella had talked about this, but all of a sudden everything they had discussed was gone from Catra's brain. She knew there were things to say—things that _needed_ to be addressed, and things from their past that they needed to stop dancing around. But there were things she couldn't quite find the words to say. Or the strength. There were things… there were so, so many things.

She took a deep breath.

"Adora, I was never mad at you. I know that I—I said some things that weren't—weren't nice. Or helpful. Or very… friendly. I wasn't… I wasn't a good friend to you."

Catra glanced up at Adora, then looked away again. Adora's eyes were wide and open, and so, so blue.

"There were things I was going through, and there were things that—that you were going through, and that _we_ were going through, that I didn't know how to handle. I wasn't properly equipped for it, emotionally and mentally.

Catra could feel herself trembling, but she soldiered on. She could do this, she knew she could, and if she cried then she cried. Crying was okay. Apparently. She still found it hard to believe, sometimes, but Spinnerella had told her it was okay, and Spinnerella was almost always right.

"When you left, I was a mess. And I did what I did best. I turned to my terrible coping mechanisms. I was getting high all the time, I was messing around with drugs in an irresponsible way, I was in and out of the emergency room for various bar fights, I was arrested for underage drinking, for assault and battery. I—I fell off the deep end."

"I didn't know," Adora began, but Catra held up a hand and finally looked up at her. It hurt, seeing Adora's face. Seeing the tears in her eyes.

"The judge was lenient with me. I was given community service and anger management, and I saw a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with bipolar one, and then it was like suddenly everything made sense. Like, all those times I just fucking lost it, and my parents thought I was just—just being dramatic, or ridiculous, or silly? I didn't have any emotional regulation, and no one had ever questioned _why_ , and instead I was belittled and made fun of, and when I had manic episodes it was written off as a cry for attention, and I just wasn't getting the help I needed."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know, I wouldn't have—"

"Adora, stop."

Adora's mouth fell open. There were tear-tracks staining her cheeks and hands, which were clasped in her lap. Her eyes were red-rimmed and her body still looked loose and relaxed. Catra wished that they hadn't had to have this conversation while Adora was high, but Catra had always been a coward.

"Not everything is your fault, Adora. You did your best for me, and for a while you were, like, the only good thing in my life."

Adora nodded, but Catra couldn't tell if it was in agreement or acknowledgement.

"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or anything, like I'm not trying to make you think that this was your fault and there were things that you could have done better. Neither of us were equipped for this, and mental health is something that wasn't really touched on while we were in school, and I didn't even know where to begin to look for resources on getting help. I just want you to know that—I've gotten help now, and I'm on meds, and I'm stable, and I haven't had a manic episode in a really long time, and that—I'm sorry, Adora."

Catra didn't realize she was crying until Adora reached forward and smoothed the tears from her cheeks. 

"You don't have to be sorry," Adora said. Her voice was soft and gentle and sweet, like the feeling of curling in a bed of clean, warm sheets after a shitty day. "I don't really blame you. For any of it. We were kids, and we were both stupid, and I think some time apart was probably good for us. And I just hope that maybe we can be friends again."

Adora's smile was like lazy sunlight, warm and lovely on bare skin.

"God, I hope so too," Catra said all in one breath, like she couldn't keep it to herself. She wanted to say something else. She knew she _had_ to say something else, she had to address the elephant—the fucking _blue whale_ in the room, but suddenly she couldn't. Every time she tried to find the words her tongue curled in on itself like it was trying to keep them back.

"Do you," Adora said, then stopped. She bit her lip, eyes sliding away from Catra and to the TV. Catra turned to look with her, but the screen had long since gone dark. "Do you, um. Do you want."

Adora curled a strand of hair around her finger. Catra liked it now, loose around her shoulders. The bottoms curled, likely from the humidity, and it was darker than it'd been when they were young and feral, wandering through the woods that surrounded their small hometown like a noose, crossing in and out of the sunlight dappling through the trees.

"Do you want a hug?" Adora finally managed to get out between pink, bitten lips. "It's fine if you don't, I understand, I remember that you didn't really like stuff like that when we were little, and like you used to hug me sometimes but we haven't seen each other in a while so it's totally fine if it's uncomfortable for you and honestly, I probably shouldn't have even asked so that's my fault—"

Catra rolled her eyes, then opened her arms. "Shut up and c'mere."

Adora's face was pink, but her eyes were sparkling and she nearly jumped to her feet and enveloped Catra in a hug. It was nice, warm and familiar. Adora still smelled like a mix of sweat and _Warm and Cozy_ perfume by Pink. Being hugged by Adora was like being wrapped in her childhood blue blanket.

Catra hugged back, arms wrapped tight around Adora's middle, nails digging into her back, and if she cried a little bit, well, no one had to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand that's a wrap! If you can, please find it in your heart to give me some validation in the form of comments, questions and/or thoughts, because I'm a ball of anxiety and would love to know someone likes this fic lmao.
> 
> Thank you! Next update will be next Sunday. I'm trying to update weekly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glimmer is back! How fun! Glimmer is back, and so is Catra, and Adora hasn't figured out how to have them both in her life and keep her story straight.  
> (Sorry I'm so bad at summaries.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here's chapter three! Reminder that next update will be in a week (on the twenty-second), and I will be skipping the update after that because I'm going to visit my family and FINALLY get my invisilign done and over with. I'm SO EXCITED.

_ What I would do to take away this _

_ fear of being loved _

_ Allegiance to the pain _

_ Now I fucked up and I  _

_ miss you _

_ -Flume, "Never Be Like You" _

_ Monday June 15th, 12:43pm _

  
  


Adora's truck was not done by the time she had sobered up enough to pick up Glimmer. Entrapta had texted Catra and told her that she had "many more updates to make".

"You can borrow my car," Catra told her. She was trying to play it cool, but Adora could see the way she picked at her cuticles and the redness around her eyes. Her own shirt was still slightly damp from Catra's tears, but she figured it would be best to pretend they weren't there. Catra had gone through a lot of personal growth, sure, but that didn't necessarily mean that she wanted Adora to needle her about letting her guard down. That had been the problem from the start. Catra was used to being belittled, made fun of. Her reactions had always seemed out of proportion and a bit much.  _ You're just too much, Catra, _ Lonnie had said, and then she had stopped playing with them, and Catra had pretended she didn't care but Adora had known she did.

"It would be kinda weird to borrow your car, wouldn't it?"

Catra shrugged, forced her hands apart and into the pockets of her shorts, then scuffed a foot against the floor. "It's fine, honestly. I work from home. And I, uh. I have a motorcycle."

Adora gaped. "Wait—you have a  _ motorcycle?" _

Catra grinned, showing off too-sharp teeth. She had a slightly predatory tilt to her chin that made Adora's heart skip a beat and heat pool low in her stomach.

"Oh Adora," she said, in the coy tone she'd perfected sometime in middle school. "You know I've always been the cool one."

Adora blushed. Then blushed again. Then stammered, "Uh, yeah. Uh, I mean. Yeah, I'll borrow your car. I mean, if that's okay with you, I don't want to impose obviously, so like you don't have to—"

Catra rolled her eyes, but her smile was fond. "Dork. I just offered it to you, so you're not imposing. And I don't want you to have to spend money on a Lyft or whatever. Your friend. She's coming in at IAH, right?"

Adora nodded.

"That's an expensive-ass Lyft. Or Uber, or whatever. So like, just take my car. When Entrapta is done fooling around with your truck, I'll drop it off and we can trade. Just text me the addy."

Adora nodded. Her cheeks were still hot, but Catra wasn't mentioning it so she figured it would be stupid to bring it up. "Uh, thank you. Catra."

Catra looked at her for a long, hard moment, then smiled brilliantly. "You're welcome, Adora. Let's hang out again soon, okay?"

Adora smiled back. Catra was so fucking pretty that for a moment Adora forgot she was even supposed to be doing something.

"I'll go grab the keys," Catra said. She turned and headed toward the kitchen, calling back over her shoulder as she did: "The car's parked in the driveway, around the side of the house. You can drive manual, right?"

"Duh," Adora said. "That's the car we both learned on!"

Catra laughed, high and squeaky, then came back into the room with a squirtle lanyard hanging off one hand. "Oh my God, do you remember that one time—"

"That you asked Rogelio to pick you up—" Adora continued, laughing.

"And he tried to drive the stick but he didn't know how—"

"And then he tried to jump ship and ran over his own foot?" Adora's cheeks hurt from how hard she was smiling.

"God,  _ mami _ was so pissed, remember how she screamed at me in Spanish for like half an hour?"

"Yeah, 'cause she thought I didn't understand but she didn't know that you'd been teaching me so I just listened to her yell and tried to disappear into the couch."

Catra grinned at her. She was close enough that they could touch, and she was holding the keys out in front of her, and there was a moment where Adora just stared at her and couldn't bring herself to stop. Catra's smile never faltered, but it softened.

"Here you go, dweeb," she said. She tossed the keys so that they hit Adora in the chest and she had to scramble to grab them. "Have fun with your friend. I'll text you when the car's done, yeah? Entrapta might forget to tell you."

"Yeah," Adora said. She knew her smile was goofy and crooked, but she couldn't seem to force it off her face. "I will."

She turned toward the door and grabbed the handle. She had to truly force herself to turn it, since she didn't want to leave, but it was one-fifteen and Glimmer was coming soon and if Adora was late picking her up she would definitely kill herself. Like, after she got Glimmer home of course, but the absolute shame of it would haunt her.

Catra kicked her heel. "C'mon, dummy. Get outta here."

Adora turned back and smiled at her over her shoulder, then opened the door and walked out. She heard it close behind her, and when she looked back she could see Catra's silhouette through the foggy little window in the top. 

She went around the house and stopped in her tracks when she saw the car. It was the same. It was the same make and model as the one they had grown up using, even though Adora knew that car had long since died. This was a newer model, anyway, it was just. It touched something deep inside of her, to think that Catra had remembered it, and missed it enough to buy another one.

Adora got herself inside, adjusted the seat (Catra's legs, like the rest of her, were tiny), and started it up. She turned the AC to the highest level, then grinned at herself in the rearview mirror for a moment. She was giddy, she was exhilarated, she was  _ happy _ in a way that she hadn't been in a very long time. And if there was a hint of rage coiling in her chest? Well, that could wait until later. She had things to get done. Her feelings could wait.

She pulled away.

  
  


***

  
  


"ADORA!" came the shout from behind her. Even with the doors to Catra's car closed and the radio playing she could still hear Glimmer's voice, high and shrill with excitement.

She was out of the car immediately, barreling out of the door almost before she had even opened it. She ran to Glimmer and was well prepared when she jumped into her arms, wrapping herself around Adora like a baby koala and giving her a smacking kiss on the cheek.

"Oh, it's so good to see you! We have  _ so _ much to talk about, I need to tell you about Alaska, it's actually warm there right now because it's summer—not Houston warm of course, I missed this when it was cold though!"

"Glimmer, I'm so excited you're back, I missed you so much!"

"UGH! It's just so good to see you!"

Glimmer clung to her a moment longer, and Adora curled into the hug, loving the casual way they were able to show physical affection. Glimmer was cold from the airport's AC and she smelled like ginger gum, and Adora loved her with every fiber of her being.

"Okay, so what are we doing first?"

Adora put Glimmer down, somewhat reluctantly, then grabbed one of her two suitcases. "I was thinking we should head home first and then maybe dinner? What time is it for you, anyway?"

Glimmer waved a hand through the air as if such things didn't matter. "Like, ten I think, but it doesn't matter because I slept a ton on the planes so I'm ready for action!"

Adora fumbled with the keys, then clicked the button to open the trunk.

"Ooh, whose car is this?" Glimmer waggled her eyebrows, which were as pink as the rest of her hair. She was wearing cute little pastel purple overalls, a pastel pink crop top underneath, and pastel rainbow knee-high socks. A patch on her overalls proclaimed her to be as "bi as the day is long".

"It's my friend Catra's," Adora said. She'd had a lot of time to think during the drive to the airport, and in that time she had realized that she'd never told Glimmer or Bow about Catra. They didn't know their history, or that the faint scars across her nose were from Catra's too-sharp nails, or that there was a part of her arm that was permanently numb from when she and Catra had rolled down a hill and she'd tumbled onto a rock, leaving an angry gash that gushed blood like an unlocked fire hydrant.

"Oh, Catra? You've never mentioned her before! When did you meet?"

Adora shut the trunk of the car and made her way to the driver's side while Glimmer made her way to the passenger's.

"Uh, we met kind of a while ago," Adora said, because it wasn't technically a lie. "I, uh, bought weed from her."

Glimmer smirked. "Ahh, the good old fashioned 'bang your drug dealer' shtick, huh?"

Adora blushed. "Um, no? I just bought some weed."

"And then she gave you a car?"

"Well, my truck is in the shop."

Glimmer shrugged, reaching behind her to snap her seatbelt closed. "Ookay Adora, whatever you say!"

Adora rolled her eyes, then shifted the car into gear and eased up on the clutch.

"I didn't know you could drive stick," Glimmer commented.

"Oh yeah, Catra's dad taught us," Adora said without thinking. She was too caught up in the fond memory of Catra's dad giving hurried instructions in Spanish while Catra lurched her way around the Walmart parking lot to think about how weird it was for her to have met the parents of someone who she only knew through buying weed.

Glimmer gave her an odd look. "You've met your plug's parents?"

Adora sweated. "Uh, yeah." She fished around in her brain for an appropriate lie but nothing came to mind.

"...Why?"

Adora shrugged. "That's a question for Catra."

Glimmer was still looking at her like she was the strangest person she'd ever seen, so Adora hurriedly changed the subject. 

"Do you wanna get tacos?"

"Oh my Goddd, yes!" Glimmer said, apparently forgetting her previous misgivings about Adora's choice in friends. "It is impossible to get good tacos in Alaska."

"I'd imagine so," Adora said. "It's a bit far from Mexico. Or Spain. Do they have tacos in Spain?"

Glimmer shrugged. "I wouldn't say I'm an expert on Spain. That's really more of a Bow question."

Adora laughed. "I'll make a note of it."

As they drove, Glimmer prattled on about Alaska, and Adora listened intently. Glimmer had been gone for a couple months now, ever since she had decided to quit her job as a secretary at a boring accountant firm in favor of "traveling the world", though Bow had done a better job of it than Glimmer. Bow, the third member of the Best Friends Squad, was currently teaching English in Guatemala, and apparently he loved it. Adora was pretty sure the only reason Glimmer had gone to Alaska was to try to show him up, but Adora didn't really think she had succeeded in that endeavor, though she would never tell anyone that.

"It's just kind of hard, y'know?" Glimmer was saying. "Like, we all know they're going to get divorced, even Frosta, but it hasn't happened yet so I didn't feel like I could really mention it. But she was definitely sad about it, and like angry so that kind of made my job difficult."

Adora  _ hmm _ ed a response. She didn't really know how to reply when it came to the topic of parents, as the closest thing she had to parents was… Well, Glimmer's parents maybe, or Bow's dads. 

Realistically, Catra's parents were the closest she'd ever had to parents of her own. Catra's dad had taught them both to drive, and Catra's mom had helped Adora with her first period, and they always had her over for Christmas and New Year's. She hadn't seen them since she left for college though, and she tried not to think about them either. It made her stomach twist itself into knots. Sometimes, she thought it may have been from guilt.

"Yeah, so I was kind of glad to leave," Glimmer continued, clearly not having noticed that Adora was barely listening. "It was really getting tense in the house—Whoa, Adora!"

Adora slammed on the brakes and swerved into the other lane without even doing a head check.

"FUCK," she shouted instinctually at the truck that had nearly just smashed into the front of the car.

"Oh my God oh my God oh my God," Glimmer began chanting in the passenger seat, gripping the grandma handle as if it would stop an accident. "Oh God oh fuck oh my God fuck."

Adora gripped the steering wheel with two trembling hands and gently pressed on the gas again, coaxing the car into movement. She hated driving in Houston, although she'd never told anyone before. If she had the money, she would only ever Lyft or Uber and just leave her truck at home. People here drove about as well as toddlers in those little baby cars, except that they were going eighty instead of like, one mile per hour.

"Jesus fuck that was close," Glimmer said. "My heart is beating so fast!"

Adora gave a shaky smile and took a deep breath, trying to get herself under control. Her heart felt like it was going to pound directly out of her chest and her pulse was thrumming so hard in her wrists that she could feel it in her fingers.

"D-do you still want tacos?" Adora asked. It was hard not to stutter around all the words, but her vision was beginning to get fuzzy around the edges. She took a deep breath in through her nose and signalled that she was headed toward the exit.

"You  _ know _ I do!" Glimmer said, and she was back to her peppy, cheerful self, completely unaware that Adora was barely hanging on. 

Sometimes she wished that Glimmer would notice what she was going through. Was it so hard for her to just look over and see Adora struggling? Couldn't she tell Adora's breath was too fast and her heart was knocking out of her chest? 

But Glimmer didn't notice. She never did. 

But that was fine. It was best for her to ignore these types of feelings anyway. It just made everything easier.

  
  


***

  
  


" _ UGH, I wish I could come visit you guys! You sound like you're having so much fun! _ "

Glimmer leaned into Adora so that Bow could see the both of them on Facetime. Adora forced a smile and hoped it looked authentic, because she didn't want either of them asking about how she was. It was wrong of her to worry people, just because she couldn't get a hold on her own feelings. It was selfish. She began cleaning up the remnants of their taco feast so that she could avoid eye contact, since Bow was the feelings guy and she knew that he would be able to tell if she wasn't feeling good. He had a knack for it.

"When can you come back home?" Glimmer asked. She angled the camera so that it was showing more of her face than Adora's. Adora was pretty sure she hadn't even realized she'd done it. Glimmer and Bow were childhood best friends and had specifically gone to college together so that they could continue to be close and stay in each other's lives, instead of growing distant as people tended to do after high school. When they had explained this to Adora when they all first met, Adora had felt like all of her organs were bubbling up in her throat. She had thought about Catra, and how she left her in their teeny-tiny little town all alone. She had forced it all down and smiled, and then she'd gone to the restroom and gagged into the toilet for five minutes before she'd been able to make it back out again.

When Glimmer and Bow were together, Glimmer focused almost all of her energy on him. Adora didn't mind; she knew Glimmer had feelings for Bow, even if Glimmer would never do anything about it. She had admitted once, to Adora, that she thought she would be wasting her bisexuality if she dated a man. Adora hadn't agreed, but she also hadn't wanted to start an argument, so she had held her tongue. 

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, two short vibrations that meant Snapchat, and she sneakily grabbed it, hoping Glimmer wouldn't notice. Bow was currently telling them what he was doing abroad (" _ It's just so fulfilling helping kids learn to read! _ ") and Adora was listening with one ear. With the other ear (but mostly her eyes), she was reading her notification.

**jolly green giant**

_ typing _ ...

She clicked on it, then remembered that it would lead her to the chat and Catra would be able to see her on there, then began sweating and clicked out of it. She was twirling a lock of hair around her finger before she even had time to think about it.

**jolly green giant**

_ hey i just wanted 2 let u kno i  _

_ had a lot of fun today. we should _

_ hang again. it was nice talking  _

_ 2 u _

" _ See! Adora thinks my joke is funny! _ "

Adora looked up. "Huh?"

Glimmer laughed, rolling her eyes. "No she doesn't, Bow. No one likes bad puns."

" _ Yeah? How come she's smiling then? _ "

Glimmer shot Adora a playful glance, then pressed up against Adora and angled the phone once again so that Bow could see them both. " _ Adora _ has a new  _ friend, _ " she said, wiggling her eyebrows.

"I do not," Adora insisted, but she could see the blush on her cheeks in the little facetime window.

"Do too! Bow, she picked me up in _ someone else's car _ today."

Bow whistled. " _ I dunno Adora, seems like you might have a new friend. _ "

"I don't!" Adora insisted. It technically wasn't a lie, because technically Catra was a very  _ old _ friend.

" _ Adora has a crush! _ " Bow said in a sing-song voice. " _ What's his name? _ "

"It's a  _ girl, _ " Glimmer said, wiggling her eyebrows once again. "Adora said her name is like, Cat? Kitty?"

"It's  _ Catra _ ," Adora corrected. She was a little annoyed, as she always had been when someone got Catra's name wrong. Yeah, it was a weird name, but that was no reason to be so disrespectful as to mispronounce it, especially considering that Glimmer was named, well,  _ Glimmer. _

"And she's met her  _ parents _ ," Glimmer said with an evil little cackle.

" _ Wow, it must be pretty serious! _ "

"It's not! We're barely friends. She's like, my drug dealer."

Glimmer shot Adora a frustrated look, and even Adora couldn't believe her mistake. Bow stared at them for a moment in silent contemplation and maybe a little judgement.

" _ Please tell me you're not just spending all your time getting high while I'm gone, _ " Bow said, disapproval written all over his face, as well as evident in his tone. " _ You know how bad it is for brain development. Even though we're older now, our brains are still growing! We need to do our best to keep them healthy!" _

Glimmer rolled her eyes. "Oh my God Bow, it's only a bit of weed, it's not like we're doing  _ meth _ ."

" _ Weed can still be addictive! _ "

"No it's not!"

Adora tuned out of the familiar argument, turning back to her phone.

**You ADORA Me**

_ It was nice to see you again too! _

_ When would you be free to hang? _

_ If you want you can come to our _

_ game night. We do one every Friday. _

_ But I have to warn you: it gets _

_ pretty competitive. My friend Glimmer _

_ loves to win. She's definitely the  _

_ type to flip over the Monopoly board. _

Adora hit send before she could worry about how long her message was compared to Catra's. She didn't want to seem desperate, but also Catra had texted her first, so that meant that Catra was the desperate one, right? Adora twirled her hair so tight around her finger that it hurt a little. She didn't want to seem like, needy or anything. In every relationship she'd been in she'd been told she was "a bit too clingy" and that "people need space" and, "You're really cool and all, but I just don't think this will work." 

(Not that she like, wanted to date Catra or anything.)

Glimmer insisted that it was because she only dated fuckboys, but Adora wasn't too sure about that. Maybe she  _ was _ clingy. Maybe she should play it cool with Catra and not reply for a bit. Just to make sure she was extra not-clingy.

**jolly green giant**

_ lol. well she better get used 2 _

_ losing because im not here to fuck _

_ around _

Adora smiled, her grip loosening on her hair.

**You ADORA Me**

_ Don't you remember you never _

_ won a game against me? _

**jolly green giant**

_ that was just beginner's luck _

**You ADORA Me**

_ How is it beginner's luck if it keeps _

_ happening? Dweeb. Don't try to _

_ pretend. _

**jolly green giant**

_ ive been practicing my gaming skills. _

_ u'd be surprised how good i am now. _

_ i never lose at connect4 anymore _

Adora snorted.

**You ADORA Me**

_ Connect4 is like, barely a game. And _

_ you've never been able to beat me at _

_ Risk so I think it's safe to say I'm better _

_ than you. _

**jolly green giant**

_ thems fighting words princess. game on _

"ADORA!"

Adora jumped, turning her phone off and clutching it to her chest as she did so. She looked up to find both Glimmer and Bow watching her with almost the exact same expression on their faces.

"What?"

"Bow was just saying bye to us," Glimmer said in a cautious tone. Adora didn't understand what need there was to be  _ cautious. _

"Sorry," Adora said. "I didn't hear you guys. Bye, Bow! Have fun there! Teach those kids!"

Bow smiled. " _ Thanks Adora! I'll talk to you guys again soon, okay? Kisses!" _

Glimmer rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to say kisses Bow, that's so embarrassing—"

"Kisses!" Adora replied, interrupting Glimmer's familiar tirade. Bow only insisted on saying it because it bothered Glimmer so much, and Adora thought it was kinda cute the way Glimmer would go on a rant about it.

" _ Glimmer, say kisses." _

"Yeah Glimmer, say kisses," Adora said teasingly.

Glimmer rolled her eyes again.

" _ If you keep rolling your eyes, they'll get stuck like that. _ "

"Shut up!"

" _ Say kisses! _ "

"...Kisses," Glimmer mumbled.

" _ WHAT WAS THAT? _ " Bow yelled.

"KISSES!" Glimmer yelled back.

Bow smiled fondly at her, brown eyes soft. "Bye, guys."

"Bye!" Adora said with a wave.

"Bye, Bow." 

Glimmer clicked  _ end call _ and as soon as the screen changed she was on Adora. "Okay Adora, spill. I've  _ never _ seen you smile like that before at someone, even that one guy, what was his name?"

Adora shrugged. "Which guy are you talking about? Also, me and Catra aren't like that. We're just friends. Or like, she's my drug dealer. We're barely friends, like we've only really hung out—" Adora scrambled for a not-lie but couldn't think of one, "—like, a couple times."

Glimmer squinted her eyes, then shakily raised just one eyebrow. She had been working hard to obtain the skill, since both Bow and Adora could do it seamlessly. "That sounds fake but okay."

"It's not fake!" Adora insisted, despite the fact that it was most definitely fake. "We barely even know each other, honestly."

That almost felt like the truth. This new Catra was someone she didn't know, but also someone she knew down to each and every particle.

"You've met her parents."

"I've met  _ your _ parents," Adora said. "And Bow's, and I'm not dating either of you!"

Glimmer sighed, then crossed her arms and leaned back against her chair. Adora looked out the sliding glass door that led to the tiny backyard so that she didn't have to look at Glimmer. She was worried that everything she was feeling would show on her face, and she didn't want Glimmer to come to any more conclusions than she already had.

Finally, Glimmer spoke, the words piercing into Adora's heart like shards of glass from a broken window: 

"I just wish you would tell me things, Adora. That's what friends are supposed to do."

Adora gaped at her, mind blanking on anything to say in reply. Before she could get herself under control Glimmer stood up, the chair making a shrill noise as it scraped against the floor.

"It's getting late."

Adora stood up too. "Glimmer wait—"

"No, Adora," Glimmer said, her voice trembling but still firm. "I'm tired from my flights. Jetlag."

" _ Glimmer _ . Don't be like this.  _ Please. _ "

But Glimmer went into her bedroom and closed the door and didn't open it no matter how many times Adora knocked, so Adora stopped knocking. She went to her bedroom. It was fine. This was all fine. She needed to work out anyway. 

She stopped at Glimmer's room one more time before she left, dressed now in running clothes with headphones wrapped around her neck.

"Glimmer, I'm going on a run."

Adora lingered there for a moment longer, but Glimmer didn't respond.

_ She's just asleep _ , she told herself.  _ That's all _ .

For once, she was grateful for Houston's intense heat and humidity. It would disguise the tears streaming down her cheeks.

  
  


***

  
  


Glimmer was still upset the next morning, but it was easy enough to ignore when compared to the Mermista and Sea Hawk morning routine, which consisted of lots of shouts of "ADVENTURE!", shanties, groans, eyerolls, and a lot of very strong coffee.

"What are your plans for the day?" Glimmer asked very politely at the breakfast table. Adora wasn't sure to whom she was directing the question, but it didn't really matter, as all questions spoken in Sea Hawk's presence were free real estate for him.

"Today," Sea Hawk said, smoothing his mustache so that the sunlight streaming through the window glanced off of it brightly enough to hurt Adora's eyes, "I'll be going to the port, of course, and overseeing my peers as we go on an ADVENTURE!"

Mermista rolled her eyes so hard that the iris was completely gone, making her look possessed.

"That sounds great, Sea Hawk," Adora said politely.

"Ughhh, don't encourage him," Mermista said.

"Mermista, my dear, I need  _ no _ encouragement."

Adora's phone buzzed, echoing through the wooden table. Glimmer glanced at the phone, then narrowed her eyes in Adora's direction as she picked it up. It was Huntara, Adora's manager at Starbucks.

"Huntara wants to know if I can come in for a little bit today," Adora announced.

"You should go," Glimmer said coolly. Adora didn't look at her.

"Okay." She sent a quick reply:  _ Sure. When do you need me? _

Mermista glanced back and forth between them, then gave a long and very audible sigh. "Okay, if you're both going to be like this? Then like, don't be around me. Drama is like,  _ so _ bad for my skin."

Glimmer played with the remaining cereal in her bowl. Adora sipped on her protein smoothie. Neither of them looked at each other.

"We're not being like anything," Glimmer said.

"Uh- _ huh _ ," Mermista said. "Whatever. I don't want to get into it, but maybe you should just talk it out instead of being all weird with each other."

Another text came in from Huntara: 

_ Come in asap. Thanks. _

_ 8:15 AM _

Adora stood up, draining her smoothie as she did so. "Huntara needs me now, so I'm just going to go."

Glimmer huffed, crossing her arms around her chest. "Have fun," she said, though her tone made it sound like she didn't mean it.

Adora didn't bother replying. The best way to deal with Glimmer was just to wait it out. Or that's what Bow said, at least, but Adora wasn't really sure if it would work this time, though she hoped so. She didn't want to lose another friend.

  
  


***

  
  


"You're on drive thru today," Huntara told her as soon as she got in. Adora groaned, and Huntara rolled her eyes.

"I know you hate it, but Chad called in and that's what he was supposed to work."

The tone of Huntara's voice told Adora that when Chad came back he was going to get the chewing-out of a lifetime. Huntara was well known around the area for being strict when it came to the schedule, because she didn't want to fucking be there any more than the rest of them, and being there understaffed? That was entirely out of the question and would be punished to the full extent of the Starbucks law. 

"Thanks for coming in though," Huntara said, a bit grudgingly.

"Of course," Adora replied as she tied her apron around her waist. She grabbed her headset and put it on, then made her way to the drive thru window. 

"Hi, what can I get started—"

"Yeah, I want a venti white chocolate mocha, with skim milk, two pumps of cinnamon dolce syrup, extra whipped cream and caramel drizzle, and for the second drink—"

Adora sighed inwardly. This was going to be a looong day.

  
  


***

  
  


Catra was having a rough day. 

First of all, Melog had decided to wake her up at four o'clock in the morning because apparently he needed something urgently, but when she finally got up to let him outside he changed his mind and decided to continue to sleep, but on the couch this time. Then she laid in bed for nearly an hour but was unable to fall asleep despite how tired she was. She kept opening snapchat and looking at the little blue  _ read _ arrow next to Adora's name, and it was taking nearly all of her self control not to type out a message, despite the fact that there was no way Adora would be up this early.  _ She _ didn't have a ridiculous cat, after all, and she didn't get up at four to work out anymore. Or at least Catra  _ hoped _ she didn't, as it had always made Adora so tired when she did.

The second thing that happened was that she walked in on Scorpia and her girlfriend, Perfuma, hardcore making out atop the kitchen counter.

"Ugh, Scorpia!"

Scorpia jumped away from Perfuma, looking guilty. Perfuma's face was flushed and her lips were swollen, though Catra tried very hard not to notice, and she settled her long tie-dye skirt around her legs as Catra walked in.

"Sorry Catra, I know we talked about not fooling around in public spaces, but we thought everyone was asleep."

" _ Entrapta's _ not asleep," Catra said accusingly. "She never sleeps!"

"She's not here."

Catra made a face. "Ew, did she stay over with the Horde again? In their 'lab'?" The air quotes she traced in the air around the word "lab" were so aggressive they were perhaps unnecessary.

Scorpia shrugged. "I don't know. Probably. She can take care of herself."

Catra sighed. "Whatever. Just, can I please make some coffee?"

"Sure thing, Wildcat!" Scorpia scooped Perfuma up off the counter as effortlessly as if she was scooping up a small child. "C'mon Perfuma, let's, uh, go to my bedroom."

Catra huffed a breath out of her nose, but she let Perfuma brush her shoulder with her hand in a silent apology as they passed.

The third thing was that, when she got to the breakfast nook, she realized she was entirely out of coffee.

"Son of a  _ bitch _ ," she said, loudly enough that Melog yelled at her from the other room. She rubbed her eyes with her hands and began doing her breathing exercises: inhale, count to four, exhale, count to eight. It was hard for her to control her emotions when she was as tired as she was, and she didn't want to be a raging asshole for the rest of the day.

She thought, again, about texting Adora, then forcibly pushed the thought out of her mind. She could text Adora later, when she wasn't so tired and frustrated. Or if Adora texted her first that would also be fine. Whatever. It wasn't worth thinking about now. The only thing that was worth thinking about was getting some caffeine so she didn't get a headache later, as she had a lot of work to do. She had just gotten a new job and the client was very picky about web design, despite knowing near nothing about it. Even though she knew she was good at what she did, she was still a bit concerned about the quality of her work. But that was okay. It was human to worry. Thank God she had therapy tomorrow, though. She was still working on properly managing her emotions. 

_ "They don't need to control you, Catra. Let them come, feel them, then let them go. _ "

She grabbed the keys to her motorcycle and headed toward the door, but not before leaving a little note on the dry-erase board in the entryway so that Scorpia knew where she was going. She read the last note from Entrapta, which was dated from last week:  _ Staying with the Horde for a while. Emily's here too. _

Gross.

Melog sprinted for the door as soon as she touched the handle, curling around her legs and being very vocal about the fact that Catra had been inconsiderate as to not somehow know he wanted to go outside.

"Little bastard," Catra said to him. He mewled back, then slipped out the door before it was even entirely open.

Her bike was parked around the back of the house in their unattached garage. She didn't use it very often, since it was a bit impractical and she didn't tend to go out too much, unless she was buying groceries. The main reason she'd even bought the bike was because she'd been twenty-one and thought it would be a hit with the ladies, which it was, but it was also a pain in the ass when it rained. It wasn't raining now though, and the sky was clear, so hopefully it wouldn't. She knocked on the wood of their lemon tree as she passed it though, just in case. Houston weather was as shifty as her emotions, after all.

The drive was short and familiar. Before she had decided to start saving up money she had been going to Starbucks every day, sometimes more than once. Then Scorpia had got on her about it not being healthy to have that much sugar, and Spinnerella had said it might be good for her to stay home for breakfast and try to actually eat something, and Catra had decided that she wanted to save up money to have a big party for her birthday. She'd never really gotten to have a huge birthday party, since she was one of five and her birthday was close to  _ dia de los muertos _ . They generally spent the days before travelling down to Mexico to visit her abuelita's grave and pay their respects.

The line at the drive through was blessedly short, and she put on her fakest, kindest voice as she ordered.

"Can I please get a venti iced coffee, black, with two pumps of vanilla?"

"Do you want the simple syrup?" 

"No, just the vanilla, please."

"Alright, sounds good! Your total will be at the window." The voice of the girl on the other end was peppy and cheerful, and Catra wondered how someone could have so much energy so early in the morning.

She waited impatiently for the car in front of her to move forward, tapping her fingers on the handlebars in time to the music coming through her speakers. She was  _ so close  _ to getting her caffeine, if only the person in front of her could just figure out their change. Also, why had they not gotten it ready beforehand? Ughh.

She unlocked her phone and went to the Starbucks app. She only had it installed on her phone because Perfuma worked at Starbucks, and she had let all of them sign into her account so they could get the discount. Catra actually kind of liked Perfuma, she just hated when she and Scorpia decided to get busy all over the house like they were marking their territory. Like, they weren't the  _ only _ lesbians in the house. And yeah, Catra hadn't had a girlfriend in a while, but  _ still. _

The line finally moved and Catra let off the brake. Man, she was excited.

" _ You believe God is a woma-an, _ " crooned Ariana Grande through the speakers.

"Hi," said a very,  _ very _ familiar voice. "You had a venti—"

Adora turned to look out the drive thru window and Catra got to see the way her eyes lit up with recognition. "Catra?"

"Hey, Adora."

  
  


.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the read! And yeah, I know I ended yet ANOTHER chapter on "Hey Adora" but I'm a useless lesbian and that phrase is my whole sexuality so... Huntara is based on a manager I had while working at JoAnn's (craft store) and so I just wrote her as annoyed at having to fucking be here. Also I thought the idea of Huntara working at fucking STARBUCKS was so funny. And turns out that my favorite goddamn character to write is SEA HAWK. Who woulda thunk?  
> If you have any questions or critiques, please let me know in the comments! Also tell me how you feel about the characters in this au. I tried to sort of shift things to a more modern equivalent I guess. Thanks for the read!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sea Hawk cheers Glimmer up. Meanwhile in Guatemala, Bow is not as happy as he seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late upload today, I'm jetlagged but I made it to my family safe. Hope everyone is feeling well. Also, I shook it up a bit with this chapter, so it's Glimmer and Bow's povs!

Chapter 4

_ If you don't like something change it; _

_ if you can't change it, change the way  _

_ you think about it _

_ -Mary Engelbreit _

  
  


_ Tuesday June 16th, 8:30am _

  
  


Glimmer was having a bad day.

Actually, despite the fact that it was only Tuesday, she was ready to call it a bad week. She wished she could go to sleep until Sunday and just start over.

First of all, there had been the flights. To get from Anchorage to Houston it took three different flights: one from Anchorage to Seattle (which was honestly one of the worst airports she'd ever been to) one from Seattle to Denver (which was actually very nice, with high ceilings and an open, airy design) and then one from Denver to Houston. Without layovers, the trip was about eleven hours. With layovers, it had been more like fourteen, and with drive time from Frosta's house? It had taken a whole day. Twenty-four hours. All to see Adora.

And then Adora didn't even appreciate her when she got back.

She'd tried calling Bow after her fight with Adora, but he hadn't answered. Probably because he was busy, as he had told her he would be when they ended the call the first time. She'd thought about calling her dad, but he was generally useless with these sorts of things, as he pretty much only left the house to go to chemistry conventions. And yes, apparently those are a real thing. She'd also considered— very, VERY briefly—calling her mom, but she just couldn't deal with her "holier-than-thou" attitude.

So that really only left Mermista, and the thought of telling her what had happened, and hearing her reply, and the possibility of  _ Sea Hawk _ finding out? It was just too big of a risk.

So instead she laid in her bed and watched a scary movie on Netflix, thinking that the fear would stop her from being sad. It hadn't. It had backfired, actually, because she was pretty sure she'd never cried harder than she did during the part where the family finally saw the ghost.

Also she hadn't been able to sleep the night before since she was too scared, not to mention the jetlag that made her exhausted yet unable to sleep. At around three am she had finally decided that in the morning she would apologize to Adora, and when she'd come out of her room she'd been fully prepared to do so right up until she saw her. Adora didn't look unhappy exactly, but the smile she sent Glimmer's way hadn't been nearly as happy as the one she'd had when looking at her phone, and the wash of emotions had come over her again.

She was so fucking  _ angry. _ She was angry that Adora didn't trust her, she was angry at  _ herself _ for being so angry, and most of all? She was angry that she'd never seen Adora that  _ happy _ before.

Up until now, she hadn't really considered whether Adora was happy or not. She had just kind of assumed she was. After all, Glimmer was happy, Bow was happy, and everyone they knew was happy. Sure, Adora lived with Sea Hawk, but things could be worse! Plus, she'd seen Adora stressed out, like during her first year at college, and she didn't have the same dark shadows under her eyes, nor the same pallor to her skin, so basically she was doing fine.

Now she was realizing that "fine" was not the same as "happy", because now she'd seen Adora happy. For the first fucking time.

Did she not make Adora happy? Why wasn't she enough for Adora? Why was she  _ never _ enough?

She hadn't been enough to keep Bow here with her. She hadn't been enough to make her mother proud. And now she wasn't enough to make Adora happy, and soon she would probably leave Glimmer too, just like Bow, and she would make cool new friends who made her smile like  _ that. _

There came a knock at the door.

"Go away, Mermista," Glimmer said. "I'm not moping."

This was a lie, as she was most definitely moping.

"It is I! Sea Hawk, not Mermista! I was just wondering if you wanted to go on an ADVENTURE!"

"I don't really want—"

Sea Hawk opened the door with so much force that it slammed into the wall. He struck a pose in the doorway propping one foot up against the door jam and raising a fist in the air like he had just discovered new land in the name of the British Empire.

"It's ADVENTURE TIME!" he shouted.

"Sea Hawk—"

"ADVENTURE!"

"I'm not feeling too—"

"TIME!"

His voice was so loud it was hurting Glimmer's ears.

"Sea Hawk, please can you—"

" _ ADVENTURE!" _

Glimmer grabbed her pillow and put it over her face, then screamed into it for a little bit. When she finally lowered it she felt a lot calmer.

"If I go on an adventure with you will you stop yelling?"

Sea Hawk looked at her, a twinkle in his eye and on his mustache. "Perhaps."

Glimmer sighed, then slid off her bed. "That's good enough, I guess."

"That's the spirit!  _ Adventure time, come on grab your friends! Let's go to very distant lands! Glimmer the princess and Sea Hawk the pirate... _ " His voice got quieter as he walked down the hallway, though she could still hear him faintly. She wished he'd never watched that show. Damn Google for auto-filling "adventure" to "adventure time".

Glimmer sighed, then got up and picked her edgiest romper out of her closet. It was black with pink stripes—or maybe pink with black stripes—and it had pockets with pink roses on it. She wore a pair of black tights underneath, to complete the ensemble of sadness and depression. She felt like a preteen who only shopped at  _ Hot Topic,  _ but hopefully it would do the trick and people would leave her alone. 

"You look ready for an ADVENTURE!" Sea Hawk shouted as soon as she walked out of her room. She winced at the volume.

"Do you need to yell?"

"Yes. Now let's be off!"

He held the door for her and literally  _ bowed _ as she passed, which was definitely overkill but also kind of made her feel like the princess he had said she was, so she guessed that was a good enough start to the day.

"Hey," she said, the thought occurring to her as she walked toward the 1993 Saturn with the mermaid bumper sticker (that looked an awful lot like Mermista), "I thought you had to work today?"

He waved a hand through the air, then rubbed his mustache in a way that made it seem to sparkle. "I  _ never _ work when there's a friend who needs me."

Despite who she was talking to, and despite the way her eyes felt sore after seeing how bright his mustache could become, she actually felt warmth bubble up in her chest, like sweet champagne shared between friends.

"Oh. Well. Thanks."

He gave her a smile, his more authentic and personal one. "Anytime, Glimmer. After all, you're one of my closest friends! And do you know what friendship is?"

Glimmer had a feeling she did.

"ADVENTURE!" 

Yup. There it was.

"Now, gentle lady, please recline in ultimate comfort as we make our way somewhere very special."

He opened the passenger door, revealing a seat cover of bright purple fur, and gestured her inside. She hesitated a moment—what if it rubbed off on her clothes?—but then she decided, well, fuck it. This might as well happen.

Sea Hawk closed the door and ran at the hood of the car to, Glimmer guessed, slide across the hood and look cool, but it didn't work and he fell off. He scrambled back up like nothing happened and ran to his car door, unlocked it, and jolted inside. 

"It's time!" he said, shooting her a brilliant smile. "I can't wait to introduce you to my brother, Swift Wind!"

Glimmer reached for the door handle, having just realized her mistake, only to find that it was locked.

Glimmer was about to have an even rougher day.

  
  


***

  
  


Bow was doing just fine, generally speaking.

He liked the work he was doing. The kids he worked with were tons of fun, despite the fact that they only spoke as much English as he had taught them, which wasn't a whole lot since he didn't speak Spanish. And he had friends! They were all back in Houston though, but it was cool. There were other people he could talk to, like his program directors and fellow teachers. Of course, they were all super Christian. He didn't have a problem with that though! He took everyone as they came, with open arms and a positive attitude!

It was just that many of them did not do the same, and it turned out Christians are pretty transphobic, and also kinda racist, so they generally didn't like him, and they certainly didn't welcome him with open arms and a positive attitude, since he was both black and trans.

But it was fine! Bow was just fine.

He looked in the mirror and tried to smile at his reflection but his face wouldn't cooperate. He didn't feel fine. He felt… lonely, and sad, and like he was missing out on things, and like he wasn't where he was supposed to be. He didn't know what he should do. Should he tell his program director that he, well… hated it here? This hadn't been what he thought it would be. He didn't know what he expected, but it wasn't this. He was uncomfortable, surrounded by people he didn't know, and it was awkward asking for a spare tampon when he didn't feel he would be accepted as a trans man by his so called "peers".

He threw himself down on his bed, then buried his head in his pillow to muffle his sobs.

He missed  _ Glimmer _ . He missed Adora too, of course, but he and Glimmer had been friends so long that he had been introduced by his  _ dead name _ , and Bow had come out when he was barely ten. He hadn't realized that being without her would feel like a hole had been ripped open in his chest, and he didn't think that he would be jealous that she and Adora were spending time together without him.

Because that's what he was, in some ways. Yes, he was lonely and sad and felt unwelcome, but he was also being consumed from the inside out by a sickly feeling coiled in the pit of his stomach, like a gargantuan, monstrous snake that was begging to be let out and would rip him to pieces in the process. He talked to Glimmer every day, and Adora most days as well, and his dads of course, and some of his siblings, but it wasn't the same as  _ being _ with people.

The thing he missed most about Glimmer was the casual way she showed physical affection. He'd never realized how much it meant to him until it was gone, and now the absence of being touched was almost painful. He hadn't been hugged since he got here, and he was used to being hugged  _ every day _ . Most days, once he and Glimmer were done with whatever they had to do that day, they would snuggle up on the couch together. Adora was always nearby, of course. They were the Best Friend Squad, after all.

He curled himself around his pillow despite the fact that it was still damp from his tears.

Okay. Enough was enough. Tomorrow he would go to his program director and ask to be sent home early. He just couldn't do this anymore. He wasn't just unhappy; he was  _ miserable _ . He wanted to go  _ home _ .

He couldn't wait to see his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes Swift Wind!!  
> Also, sorry if there's any inconsistencies in the plot and story and whatnot, this is all self-edited and I don't want to read through my work in case I jinx myself so it's basically completely unedited lol. I glance through it right before I post it.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so here's chapter one! This is actually a shorter chapter, since the other ones average at around 5-6k. Let me know if you have any questions or critiques, and please for the love of god smash that kudos button so that I have the continued energy to write. Every kudo is a mouthful of coffee that keeps me alive.  
> Also, if you need any advice on any mental health struggles or emotional healing techniques, PLEASE come to me. I've been working on bettering myself and I've finally gotten to a place where I feel good enough to write, and I want everyone to know that they can get there too.  
> Also, Catra's name on Snapchat is "Jolly Green Giant" because she's neither jolly nor giant, but does sell the green lol.
> 
> (This story is under Hiatus but Will Be Back.)


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